viernes, 29 de julio de 2016

Digimon Abridged Ep4: BIRDEMIC (ENGLISH)

*Friendzone Dubs*
SEADRAMON: I love dong drama!
BIRDRAMON: The next video is a nonprofit and fanmade parody. Digimon is propiety of Akiyoshi Hongo, Toei Animation and Bandai. Please, support the official release AND A MASK FOR ME!
NARRATOR: Previously, on Digimon Abridged…
Woah, could you believe we managed to get KibaDubs in the previous episode? That’s really awesome! He is like Team Four Stars if they were Spanish and produce random videos instead of abridged series.
Do you remember that huge dick joke who didn’t even speak in the original? Guess what, Gabumon evolved and the day is saved… wuu-huu…
Episode 4… Isn’t that Ridley?
TAI: Are the strange things already starting?
MATT: Meh, a drone.
MIMI: What if it is looking for us?
JOE: But it kept going…
TAI: You felt-off* again, you are a fountain of memes.
*”TK-iste”, play on words.
TK: Thank you for helping me, Matt…
SORA: TK, if it hurts you tell us, you are the youngest one.
TK: Only in age, the biggest pussy here is Joe.
SORA: Have you seen it, Joe? Even the little one is tougher than you!
TAI: By the way, where are we going?
BIYOMON: You are so soft, Sora…
SORA: Oh… Biyomon, I would thank you if you didn’t rub up like that.
BIYOMON: Why not?
SORA: It’s too weird, let’s say just that.
TENTOMON: Digimons, humans, there is no difference as long as we are sentient.
BIYOMON: Sora is my girlfriend, Sora is my girlfriend!
SORA: Please, let us be found fast. My parrot is obsessing with me! I thought the only estrus animal here was Tai!
IZZY: It’s too hot, wait for me… Don’t leave me behind!
JOE: Why are there so many posts if humans don’t exist here?
TENTOMON: Izzy…
IZZY: What’s up, Tento?
TENTOMON: Joe won’t survive with that mindset.
MIMI: Guess what I have found in my purse!
BIYOMON: Condoms?
SORA: Please, Biyomon!
MIMI: It’s a clock!
JOE: That’s actually a compass, Mimi.
IZZY: It’s broken because the sand is made of metal.
SORA: This place is to become crazy!
MIMI: WE’RE LOST! LOST!
TAI: Relax, dude!
HOMERAMON*: Yes, succulent…
*The character is actually called “Meramon”, but we are parodying that Homer Simpson is called “Homero” in Latin America.
*Palmon sings*
MIMI: Do you want my hat?
PALMON: Yes.
TAI: What are you? Dross*?
*Writer and youtuber characterized by a hat.
BIYOMON: Sora, you know that I will always protect you, right?
SORA: Leave me alone at once! You are intolerable!
BIYOMON: I’m… sorry… I’m really sorry… I just want to be in your side… forever…
SORA: Forgive me, Biyomon, but put on my perspective.
BIYOMON: Thank you! Here I go! I love you so much!
JOE: Well thought, very well….
TAI: Look guys, I’m a pirate! Yo-ho-ho, I’m a great captain and I just found my ship!
JOE: And there is a village too, they will have food and water!
MIMI: You look great with my hat!
PALMON: My ugliness is nothing compared to my interior pain.
TAI: Let’s go to the S.S. Taitopia!
HOMERAMON: My back tickles… But the nice Homeramon is over!
HOMERAMON: Holy flame, I’m naked!
TAI: You’re lucky, right, Sora?
BIYOMON: I won’t take responsibilities of what could happen to your village and relatives if someone gets too close to my Sora.
YOKOMON1: What are you going to do, big ugly bird?
SORA: Is she talking about me?
BIYOMON: Do you want me to kill her slowly and painfully or to devour her offspring first?
YOKOMON1: She’s crazy, she’s crazy!
YOKOMON2: Sora is more endangered with Blaziken than with us.
JOE: Why every female tries to flirt with Sora? Does anybody like Joey?
MIMI: When we see a shit-shaped digimon, it will probably fall in love with you.
IZZY: What if we get naked and play as titans?
BIYOMON: Oh, look, a hospital! It would be a shame if someone started a fire!
YOKOMON: Get away, you sociopath!
BIYOMON: You can’t figure how much! I’m directly looking to your ill children through the window. I want to be the last thing they see before eradicating them!
YOKOMON: Please, don’t hurt them!
BIYOMON: Well, we could negotiate about that if you had in mind being the slaves of Sora and I!
SORA: Slaves? This is getting out of hand!
SORA: In the other hand… she could evolve to protect me… Biyomon, is that you?
GARUDAMON: I am who you want me to be.
SORA: But you are a birdman, and what a man…
GARUDAMON: It doesn’t matter what we are, what matters is that we are together.
SORA: I… love you. I don’t mind what you are, it could be like this.
GARUDAMON: It SHOULD be like this…
The worlds can be one together
Cosmos without hatred
Stars like diamonds in your eyes
Goodbye… Moonmon (x2)
BIYOMON: Hey Sora, you weren’t fantasizing about Moonmon, right?
SORA: No.
IZZY: Glad I’m not the only one with waifu!
YOKOMON: If you are thirsty, drink as much as you want.
TENTOMON: This water contains urine of Crabmon, JKsimmon and Seadramon. I wouldn’t drink it.
TK: Worst fluids I’ve inhaled from my brother.
HOMERAMON: Stop singing about Moonmon!
TAI: That doesn’t look like water.
YOKOMON1: That’s not water, goofball!
YOKOMON2: There is a cliff over there, go and throw yourself.
*Tai hums*
YOKOMON1: Stop dancing around!
YOKOMON2: Inutile!
YOKOMON3: You idiot!
YOKOMON4: You won’t become Moonmon like that!
MATT: Could you shut up, meddlesome bitches?
IZZY: This is how Shipping begins…
SORA: At least I’m not alone on that.
JOE: But who are you going to Ship with me?
YOKOMON: You, glasses, that sexy cliff wants to hook with you.
TAI: Huy, let’s see that sexy-cliff!
*Hum*
TAI: Uff, look those curves, it’s as hot as a volcano!
HOMERAMON: Hehehe, my feet tingle!
YOKOMON: It’s the fire nudist!
HOMERAMON: This slope will be a paint to return later. You will burn like pochoclos!
TAI: What are the pochoclos?
HOMERAMON: A snack that changes name depending where you live. It’s possible you know it as popcorn, palomitas de maíz, alborotos, millo, rosetas, gallitos, poporopos, poscon, pacón, poporochos, pururú, pop, maíz pisingallo, kaku, canchita, cancha perlita, canguil, pororó, cotufas, crispetas, maíz pira, maíz tote, chivitas, cabritas de maíz, pipocas, rosas, roscas, tostones, cocaleca, cotufas or flores*. They taste so good!
*These are ACTUAL names for popcorn in different Hispanic regions.
TAI: What was the question?
HOMERAMON: I will repeat it in your ear!
*Tai hums the music*
HOMERAMON: How can my fire not illuminate?
TAI: Guys… run!
HOMERAMON: I’m arriving…
TAI: Are we all humans safe?
SORA: I miss… BIYOMON!
BIYOMON: C’mon girls! That exhibitionist won’t have the pleasure to finish you!
YOKOMON: Harpy!
BIYOMON: I heard that, shit-head*!
*Head jokes: 10*
SORA: If she dies, I will feel bad. That’s how dumb I am!
TAI: I also want fried chicken!
SORA: Don’t stay there, retarded dodo!
BIYOMON: It will be a pleasure dying in front of your eyes like a heroine!
SORA: You will die like an idiot!
BIYOMON: Make it fast and painless, please.
HOMERAMON: I’m vegetarian.
SORA: Biyomon!
HOMERAMON: But my sexual life is pretty active.
BIYOMON: Why do you torture me saving my life if I will never get you?
SORA: Well, you may evolve to something more apt for me.
BIYOMON: Didn’t you say you had a boyfriend?
HOMERAMON: What? I came down here turned on and I won’t return until I satisfy my sexual appetite!
BIYOMON: Over my dead body, aids-fart!
BIYOMON: I will fight fire with fire!
HOMERAMON: Chicken… why don’t you fight with my… cock?
TAI: Lol, he also spits puns. I’m going too!
HOMERAMON: Guess what I do with this hand.
BIYOMON: Anything but touching Sora.
SORA: She will never change…
TAI: Sora, there are more fishes in the sea.
IZZY: You just can’t be that picky.
HOMERAMON: Let’s see what you can do.
HOMERAMON: Ha ha ha, you are only boning me harder.
MATT: Don’t attack!
HOMERAMON: Such a pleasure, I did the right thing coming here.
TAI: Our fire just makes his fire stronger!
IZZY: Should we take off our clothes?
MATT: He’s like a cock made of fire, the more you touch it…
MIMI: That’s so dirty!
JOE: I don’t want him to burn my dick!
HOMERAMON: Your virginities will be mine!
BIYOMON: This is becoming personal. If I only have to give everything for Sora, everything will be enough.
HOMERAMON: A phoenix?
SORA: So she isn’t a birdman… and it has horse teeth.
HOMERAMON: More fire and nakedness to feed me.
BIRDRAMON: Where is my tension-meter?
SORA: Do you have at least a seducer voice?
BIRDRAMON: I will only speak to please Sora!
HOMERAMON: You are brave, but she doesn’t belong to you.
SORA: You can never know that, persist!
BIRDRAMON: I will persist for you! Armpit meteors!
HOMERAMON: Armpit meteors? They stink!
IZZY: Have you seen that black wheel?
MATT: It seems that wheel explains his abnormal behavior.
TK: You still do it like the first time!
SORA: Very well, now kill him!
BIYOMON: Sorry Sora, I thought my evolution would be prettier, I failed you!
SORA: It doesn’t matter! You are alive.
YOKOMON1: Are you alright, Homeramon?
HOMERAMON: What does Homeramon mean?
YOKOMON2: Don’t worry, you are fine now.
HOMERAMON: Something penetrated me and angered me.
YOKOMON3: All the monsters from this island have bad temper.
HOMERAMON: I’m returning homr. Fuck you, flammable beings!
BIYOMON: Finally alone. Right, Sora?
TK: Matt, I also want to be alone with you!
YOKOMON: That’s right, get off our way!
TAI: Fodder… so, I exist.*
*”Pienso” means “fodder”, but also “I think”.
BIYOMON: Why don’t you eat, Sora?
TK: Exactly like when our parents divorced.
MATT: But not in the floor.
TK: And without broken glass.
SORA: Anyone wants my portion?
JOE: They didn’t give me food.
YOKOMON1: We don’t want to.
YOKOMON2: You must stay there motionless.
YOKOMON3: Your seal deserves more than you… walrus.*
*I can’t translate this joke. “Foca” means “seal”, its masculine form should be “foco”, which means “flashlight”.
JOE: Don’t laugh at that…
SORA: It may not be what I expected, but I’m happy to have a real friend.

BIYOMON: Someday… you will be… mine…